Dumb news

Ever since the Pope resigned yesterday superstitious people have been scrambling around trying to find some omen to tell them if it's a good thing or the signalling of the start of the "end-times", as they do. The mainstream media picked up on a story that a bolt of lightening struck St. Peters Basilica in Rome a few hours after the announcement, this story has been leapt upon by credulous people worldwide. What a natural imbalance of electrical charge in the atmosphere has to do with job vacancies in the Vatican I'm not too sure, but those among us more prone to believing in the power of non sequitur clearly think it's a sign from their big man in the sky.

This kind of thing always amuses me, if these people really think that their God communicates with us via electrical discharges then why put lightening conductors on tall buildings like churches? Surely this is as "contra Deus" as wearing one of those little rubber thingies, you know, those "man-focused" temporary coverings that also prevent unwanted consequences from other kinds of discharges, a theological quandary if ever there was one.

So the search for a replacement Pope begins, much like organised religion itself really a process involving the perpetuation of worldly self interest wrapped up in mystery, ritual and obfuscation in order to elevate it above the mundane affairs of its "flock" and secure their reverence  The Cardinals need not vex themselves too much though, I'm pretty sure I know who should take over. The answer to their prayers was revealed to me in a dream, there exists a perfectly qualified person; a person who lives in Italy, is not a Woman, definitely not gay, used to handling obscene amounts of money, power and arrogance and to cap it all he's currently looking for a job...

All hail Pope Silvio...