I'm beginning to think that religious people have an abnormally low tolerance for criticism, several comments and conversations recently seem to suggest to me that the distance between debate and attack in religious minds is much shorter than in non-religious minds. Of course everything is relative and there is very little to suppose that there is even such a thing as a "religious mind" although some recent brain studies seem to suggest this might be the case.
Here is an extract from a recent BHA article, outlining some topical examples of this phenomenon (in italics), my comments are inserted under each paragraph.
Baroness Warsi, Shadow Social Action Minister, announced at the conservative party conference last week that there has been “a growing intolerance and illiberal attitude towards those who believe in God,” blaming BHA Vice President Dr Evan Harris MP for “driving this secular agenda” into the public sector.
Being secular says nothing about belief or otherwise in God, Baroness Warsi is exhibiting a surprising level of ignorance in these comments; secularism simply requires the separation of church and state, not an intolerance to religion. In actual fact secular societies are more likely to have freedom of religion than non-secular ones and certainly more than theocratic ones, this sounds like a irrational persecution complex to me.
Similarly, Tony Blair took it upon himself to declare that “we face an aggressive secular attack from without” when speaking to an American Muslim ‘interfaith’ organisation. He went on to describe how, “those who scorn God and those who do violence in God's name, both represent views of religion. But both offer no hope for faith in the twenty first century.”
Why on earth should a disbelief in God offer hope for faith, this is simply nonsense; I am alarmed and dismayed that someone like Blair would attempt to throw Atheists into the same bucket as the 9/11 terrorists, that is outrageous and reveals deep misconceptions and insecurities in the man, such ideas are fundamentally biased and flawed (no change there then!)
Most people in the USA and Europe would I'm sure agree that a secular system is a fair and legitimate system of government, yet there are still those who equate the levelling of the playing field by removing religious privileges as an attack on the faithful, I can't help but see hypocrisy in this entire line of thinking.
Wednesday, October 14, 2009
Tuesday, October 13, 2009
Its a dogs life...
For all those religious people out there who claim that you can't be moral without God and try to argue that morality, altruism and empathy are unique markers of a divine hand in our (Human) origin, take a look at this little clip. It shows a dog rescuing another dog which had been hit by traffic, at great risk to it's own life, it's a touching scene.
I wonder which Church he goes to? (I need a canine-church pun to go here, you know who I'm looking at!)
I wonder which Church he goes to? (I need a canine-church pun to go here, you know who I'm looking at!)
The first cut is the deepest...
I came across this little story today, it's the usual tale of a religious person valuing their emotional "lucky rabbits foot" over a decent education. This time we have a 14 year old Sikh who thought that it was perfectly fine to carry a 5 inch ceremonial dagger into school, now clearly there are some inner city schools in this country where they throw you out if you aren't tooled up, but please, Sikhs grow up, lets not make things worse!
To cap it all we then get the torrent of "religious freedom" nonsense, apparently Sikh community leaders claim that this is a weapon of "non-violence", it sounds to me like these people should have spent more time listening in class than playing with their weapons. Apparently these trinkets represents the power of truth to cut through untruth and their religion insists that they are worn at all times, if I were them, I'd ask for my money back.
To cap it all we then get the torrent of "religious freedom" nonsense, apparently Sikh community leaders claim that this is a weapon of "non-violence", it sounds to me like these people should have spent more time listening in class than playing with their weapons. Apparently these trinkets represents the power of truth to cut through untruth and their religion insists that they are worn at all times, if I were them, I'd ask for my money back.
Witness the evil..
According to Jehovah Witnesses young people are often exposed to "temptation" (drum roll); here is a copy of one of their bizarre little Watchtower rags, pay particular attention to the second bullet point. That's right, we don't need no education, we don't need no thought control; what our religion wants is dumb people, the dumber the better, then they don't feel like annoying freaks as people slam the front door in their faces on Saturday mornings.
Religion clearly sees reason as it's enemy in this case, I suppose educated people tend to question questionable things, like their religion, or perhaps they just have something to hide?
PS. I see that the obligatory Bible quote is one from Proverbs asking "can a man can walk upon the coals and his feet not be scorched" - well yes actually, it's all about conduction, thermal gradients and surface areas, oh yes, you won't be learning about that will you little witness.
Religion clearly sees reason as it's enemy in this case, I suppose educated people tend to question questionable things, like their religion, or perhaps they just have something to hide?
PS. I see that the obligatory Bible quote is one from Proverbs asking "can a man can walk upon the coals and his feet not be scorched" - well yes actually, it's all about conduction, thermal gradients and surface areas, oh yes, you won't be learning about that will you little witness.
Monday, October 12, 2009
Knock, Knock, who's there...
Apparently not everyone in Ireland is sane! I know this may come as a shock to those of us who thought that Ireland was full of enlightened Celtic tigers these days but according to this story in the Irish Times today there are at least a few thousand Celtic lemmings who believe that standing around in graveyards staring at the sun on a clairvoyant's promise of a vision of "our lady" is a good use of their leisure time.
Several of the crowd reported they could see the sun "shimmering" (gosh!); I can't help thinking that staring directly at the sun for even a few minutes would tend to have a rather dramatic effect on your eyes; evidently what passes for a miracle in Ireland these days isn't quite up to the standards set by Marian apparitions of old, no mysterious glowing figures, angels, blood, tears or even a shabby old sheep, I'd definitely demand a refund...
Faith in faith schools
I've just been looking at a major report which focused on how faith schools operate. The researchers examined religious schools in their full historical, cultural, political and educational context and consulted with over 1000 stakeholders (teachers, parents, students, educationalists, governors etc). It makes interesting reading, most people you speak to on this subject agree that faith schools seem to do better than non-faith schools academically, but few look at the downsides. This report focuses on some of the disadvantages from societies point of view, including things like divisiveness, unfair selection and elitism etc.
I have reproduced the (summary) findings below:
1. End selection on the basis of faith
Faith schools should be for the benefit of all in society rather than just some. If faith schools are convinced of their relevance for society, then that should apply equally for all children. With state funding comes an obligation to be relevant and open to all citizens.
2. Children should have a greater say in how they are educated
Children’s rights are as important as parents’ rights. While the debate about faith schools is characterized by discussions of parental choice of education, there is little discussion about children’s voice.
3. RE should be part of the core national curriculum
Provision for learning about religion is too often poor in schools without a religious character. Provision for learning about religions beyond that of the sponsoring faith in faith schools is also inadequate.
4. Faith schools should also serve the most disadvantaged
Despite histories based on challenging poverty and inequality, and high-level pronouncements that suggest a mission to serve the most disadvantaged in society, faith schools educate a disproportionately small number of young people at the lowest end of the socio-economic scale.
5. Faith schools must value all young people
People cherish facets of their identities beyond their faith, and these also need to be the focus of learning in faith schools – and valued within them. Similarly, religious identities should be more highly valued within schools that don’t have a religious character.
By all means children should be free to believe whatever they like outside of the classroom, but ultimately I would much prefer an American style of education system, i.e. that schools should be secular organisations focused on teaching universal subjects rather than favouring any particular cult or religious dogma, anything else just looks like censorship and indoctrination to me.
I have reproduced the (summary) findings below:
1. End selection on the basis of faith
Faith schools should be for the benefit of all in society rather than just some. If faith schools are convinced of their relevance for society, then that should apply equally for all children. With state funding comes an obligation to be relevant and open to all citizens.
2. Children should have a greater say in how they are educated
Children’s rights are as important as parents’ rights. While the debate about faith schools is characterized by discussions of parental choice of education, there is little discussion about children’s voice.
3. RE should be part of the core national curriculum
Provision for learning about religion is too often poor in schools without a religious character. Provision for learning about religions beyond that of the sponsoring faith in faith schools is also inadequate.
4. Faith schools should also serve the most disadvantaged
Despite histories based on challenging poverty and inequality, and high-level pronouncements that suggest a mission to serve the most disadvantaged in society, faith schools educate a disproportionately small number of young people at the lowest end of the socio-economic scale.
5. Faith schools must value all young people
People cherish facets of their identities beyond their faith, and these also need to be the focus of learning in faith schools – and valued within them. Similarly, religious identities should be more highly valued within schools that don’t have a religious character.
By all means children should be free to believe whatever they like outside of the classroom, but ultimately I would much prefer an American style of education system, i.e. that schools should be secular organisations focused on teaching universal subjects rather than favouring any particular cult or religious dogma, anything else just looks like censorship and indoctrination to me.
Friday, October 09, 2009
It's a miracle!
Darwinists in a small Tennessee town flock to a mysterious image of their Lord and master that appeared overnight on a wall behind Burger King.
I see dead (ignorant) people...
I heard about the Neumann's earlier this year when their story hit the news. In 2008 this couple (from the USA) killed their child through neglect and stupidity. Rather than taking their child to a doctor for a treatable form of diabetes they decided to pray instead and as we all know (or should) praying has been proven many times to have absolutely no effect. The child died what must have been a confused and very painful death, completely unnecessarily.
Firstly he said,
Think about Kara and what God wants you to learn from this.
So clearly the Judge is as deluded as they are and wants them to know he belongs to the same club, he goes on,
God probably works through other people, some of them doctors.
What a leech, why do Christians see good things as "God given" and bad things like killing your child as something unconnected, why the hell wasn't the original crime the workings of this mysterious invisible "mind" too, where was their "God" when this innocent child was writhing in agony in front of these morons?
Then to cap it all we have a quote from the defence lawyer when asked if he thought his clients had gotten off too lightly, it's so puerile and offensive that I am reluctant to reproduce it here however it completes the circle of stupidity so perfectly that I feel obliged for the sake of feng shui.
My client sees spiritual treatment as the proper medicine and I suspect the people who want harsher punishment see Western medicine as the proper medicine, I guess therein lies the difference. My clients just happen to have a belief that is very outside of our social norm.
He is right about one thing, these people are outside of our social norm, in fact, as evidenced by their mental delusions I think they are outside of our entire species and have clearly devolved into new sub-species, I'm going to call it "homo dildorious rexsis".
Yesterday I read about their sentence, it sickened me; six months spread over six years!! (the maximum sentence for this crime is 25 years). What sickened me even more were the comments of the judge, clearly human sacrifice is alive and well in Wisconsin.
Think about Kara and what God wants you to learn from this.
So clearly the Judge is as deluded as they are and wants them to know he belongs to the same club, he goes on,
God probably works through other people, some of them doctors.
What a leech, why do Christians see good things as "God given" and bad things like killing your child as something unconnected, why the hell wasn't the original crime the workings of this mysterious invisible "mind" too, where was their "God" when this innocent child was writhing in agony in front of these morons?
Then to cap it all we have a quote from the defence lawyer when asked if he thought his clients had gotten off too lightly, it's so puerile and offensive that I am reluctant to reproduce it here however it completes the circle of stupidity so perfectly that I feel obliged for the sake of feng shui.
My client sees spiritual treatment as the proper medicine and I suspect the people who want harsher punishment see Western medicine as the proper medicine, I guess therein lies the difference. My clients just happen to have a belief that is very outside of our social norm.
He is right about one thing, these people are outside of our social norm, in fact, as evidenced by their mental delusions I think they are outside of our entire species and have clearly devolved into new sub-species, I'm going to call it "homo dildorious rexsis".
Thursday, October 08, 2009
Sometimes we do the right thing...
I was really glad to read today that Benny Hinn, a supposedly Christian evangelist has been refused entry to the UK. Benny runs a little firm in Texas that claims to preach the gospel and heal people of things that modern medicine has been unable to do, tricky little things like AIDS, blindness and cancer among others.
Conservative estimates put his yearly income at roughly $120-200 million, he lives in an $8 million beach front house and flies around in a personal Gulfstream jet, he famously once predicted that the world would end in 1995 and he also foretold that Fidel Castro would die during the 1990s. Hinn has also taught that Adam (the Biblical one) flew to the moon. He has said that the Christian Trinity is actually God in nine persons, not three, because the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are each comprised of trinities, er OK Benny?
Mr Hinn has visited us before without any problem but the Home Office has changed the rules for ministers of religion. He fell foul of tier five of the new points-based system for all visitors to Britain, which came into effect last November. One of the aims of the new rules was to combat extremism and prevent teachers of religious hate entering the country.
So, hurrah for UK Border control, the system appears to work; it just leaves us with one question, why do people still fall for this crap?
Conservative estimates put his yearly income at roughly $120-200 million, he lives in an $8 million beach front house and flies around in a personal Gulfstream jet, he famously once predicted that the world would end in 1995 and he also foretold that Fidel Castro would die during the 1990s. Hinn has also taught that Adam (the Biblical one) flew to the moon. He has said that the Christian Trinity is actually God in nine persons, not three, because the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost are each comprised of trinities, er OK Benny?
Mr Hinn has visited us before without any problem but the Home Office has changed the rules for ministers of religion. He fell foul of tier five of the new points-based system for all visitors to Britain, which came into effect last November. One of the aims of the new rules was to combat extremism and prevent teachers of religious hate entering the country.
So, hurrah for UK Border control, the system appears to work; it just leaves us with one question, why do people still fall for this crap?
Wednesday, October 07, 2009
Does Alpha want real answers?
You may have seen these posters around, they are for the Alpha Course. This is an evangelical course run here in the UK (and maybe elsewhere?) and according to the blurb is "an opportunity for anyone to explore the Christian faith in a relaxed setting over ten thought-provoking weekly sessions"
Superficially (by design I expect) the advertising makes it look like a course that promotes an open arena for skeptical inquiry but a quick look at the materials on their WEB site seem to suggest to me that this is not quite the case. (the following picture is a poster for the Alpha course at a train station, in this case the poll has been correctly filled in by a passer by :)
Superficially (by design I expect) the advertising makes it look like a course that promotes an open arena for skeptical inquiry but a quick look at the materials on their WEB site seem to suggest to me that this is not quite the case. (the following picture is a poster for the Alpha course at a train station, in this case the poll has been correctly filled in by a passer by :)
Here are some of the questions tackled during the course (according to their site):
Week 1 Who is Jesus?
Week 2 Why did Jesus Die?
Week 3 How can we have Faith?
Week 4 Why and how do I Pray?
Week 5 Why and how should I read the Bible?
Week 6 How does God Guide us?
Week 7 How can I Resist Evil?
Week 8 Why and how should I tell Others?
Week 9 Does God Heal Today?
Week 10 What about the Church?
These are clearly questions that expect certain kinds of answers, if you answer no to this poll then there seems little point in going on to assume all kinds of things about the divinity of Jesus or the characteristics of mystical ghostly forces? If the answer is yes then presumably you don't need this course but what does "probably" mean, i.e. "probably yes" or "probably no". Most atheists I know would answer this question by saying "almost certainly no" since logically you can't really disprove anything with 100% certainty (not even unicorns), however there is no option for 99.999999999% unlikely.
There are a few sceptical reviews of this material on the WEB, here is a good example which is well worth a read and there have been TV documentaries about it this year; however I thought what might be fun is if I were to re-draft the questions into something that an atheist would like to ask,
Week 1 Why is Christianity true and every other religion false?
Week 2 Why do bad things happen to good people?
Week 3 Why do Christians pray when prayer has been proven to be utterly ineffective?
Week 4 Why do Christians cherry pick the parts of the Bible that suit them to believe in?
Week 5 If the Christian God is so great why is he so vague and elusive?
Week 6 If the universe was built just for humans, why is it so fecking huge and inhospitable?
Week 7 If good things are gifts from God, why aren't bad things also gifts?
Week 8 If the Christian God is perfect and we are made in his image why are we so poorly designed?
Week 9 Why does the Christian God hate amputees?
Week 10 Why does the Christian religion require "faith" at all, why isn't it self evident?
PS. Some of these questions are deep and unanswerable (and tongue-in-cheek).
Justice?
We have a TV in our office, most of the time it's tuned into Sky news or the BBC, the sound is normally off and surprisingly it blends into the background and I don't notice it much. Every now and again though a particular image comes onto the screen that grabs everyone's attention, that just happened.
Picture the scene, a typical British city street, its night-time probably Friday or Saturday, a jerky CCTV image reveals lots young looking people wandering between pubs and clubs; spiky haired boys in trainers, girls in short skirts and high heals. Sadly and unsurprisingly, a fight breaks out, two "likely" looking lads start to pick on and square up to a couple of girls (yes you read that correctly), the fight lasts 2 seconds, bang and both lads are spark out on the pavement, the girls adjust their dresses, pick up their hand bags and nonchalantly walk away.
WTF?
A quick Google provided the full answer, it turns out that unbeknownst to the yobs, the two girls in question turned out to be professional cage fighters in drag, on their way to a stag party..
You can see the whole ugly, and yet strangely satisfying episode here on youtube, this must be what "justice" feels like :)
Picture the scene, a typical British city street, its night-time probably Friday or Saturday, a jerky CCTV image reveals lots young looking people wandering between pubs and clubs; spiky haired boys in trainers, girls in short skirts and high heals. Sadly and unsurprisingly, a fight breaks out, two "likely" looking lads start to pick on and square up to a couple of girls (yes you read that correctly), the fight lasts 2 seconds, bang and both lads are spark out on the pavement, the girls adjust their dresses, pick up their hand bags and nonchalantly walk away.
WTF?
A quick Google provided the full answer, it turns out that unbeknownst to the yobs, the two girls in question turned out to be professional cage fighters in drag, on their way to a stag party..
You can see the whole ugly, and yet strangely satisfying episode here on youtube, this must be what "justice" feels like :)
I love the smell of fresh consumer electronics in the morning :)
I guess that since you are reading this you are probably interesting in reading stuff, and more importantly stuff that's presented electronically?
I learnt today that Amazon Kindles are becoming available in the UK on October 19th. For those not in the know on this, the Kindle is an electronic book reader or e-reader for short, it allows you to download books, magazines and newspapers to it's on-board memory and then read them on the go via a small black and white non-reflective screen (like e-paper) the whole thing is light, thin and highly portable. Amazon have had the Kindle a couple of years now but the latest DX version has the features I've been waiting for, wireless networking, built in 3G (so you can download books on the hoof from anywhere) and support for the ubiquitous PDF and MP3 formats.
I love to flit between books and at any one time I probably have up to 10 of them on the go, of course it's totally impractical to carry all these books around so this device offers me a potential solution. I reckon it'll be dead handy for holidays too; it's expensive though and of course you still have to buy the books, but I might just have to treat myself.
I learnt today that Amazon Kindles are becoming available in the UK on October 19th. For those not in the know on this, the Kindle is an electronic book reader or e-reader for short, it allows you to download books, magazines and newspapers to it's on-board memory and then read them on the go via a small black and white non-reflective screen (like e-paper) the whole thing is light, thin and highly portable. Amazon have had the Kindle a couple of years now but the latest DX version has the features I've been waiting for, wireless networking, built in 3G (so you can download books on the hoof from anywhere) and support for the ubiquitous PDF and MP3 formats.
I love to flit between books and at any one time I probably have up to 10 of them on the go, of course it's totally impractical to carry all these books around so this device offers me a potential solution. I reckon it'll be dead handy for holidays too; it's expensive though and of course you still have to buy the books, but I might just have to treat myself.
Tuesday, October 06, 2009
Memorable Tim Minchin lines
As I mentioned in my birthday post I went to see Tim Minchin on Sunday; several of the people in my office also went to see him and we were just recalling some of his one-liners, here are my favourites,
You have to imagine these lines in songs or poems along with piano backing, if you can't then check him out on youtube; you'll be tickled.
- We're just Monkeys... in shoes
- So God takes the afternoon off from his normal day job of systematically killing African children to help American basketball players.
- I'd rather watch boobs all day than own a pub
- Do you know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work? .... medicine.
- If you really loved me... you'd let me video you while you wee
- If you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out
- Your love is one in a million, if I didn't have you.... I'd have someone else..
- Try as I might, a small crack appears in my diplomacy dyke..
- Communist kids really don't make much noise, and they're so good at sharing their toys!
You have to imagine these lines in songs or poems along with piano backing, if you can't then check him out on youtube; you'll be tickled.
More Catholic fall-out
I noticed this story today, it's a run of the mill one about a former Catholic Bishop getting caught with child pornography on his computer and it made me think, are we are becoming de-sensitised to this narrative now, is it just background noise?
If the Catholic Church was a political party or an energy company it would have been broken up and dissolved years ago. After such institutionalised abuse of children in its care and the subsequent systemic cover up spanning many decades, no organisation should be able to survive; and yet it does. How is it that this organisation even continues to lecture the wider world on morality, how can it assume the ethical high ground and why do so many people suck up its propaganda without question, is this what is meant by blind faith?
We now have the spectre of Tony Blair, that great Catholic convert and promoter of "faith" running for the presidency of the European Union. A man who popularised the idea of "spin" in the pocket of an organisation that only thrives because of blind faith...
What could possibly go wrong?
If the Catholic Church was a political party or an energy company it would have been broken up and dissolved years ago. After such institutionalised abuse of children in its care and the subsequent systemic cover up spanning many decades, no organisation should be able to survive; and yet it does. How is it that this organisation even continues to lecture the wider world on morality, how can it assume the ethical high ground and why do so many people suck up its propaganda without question, is this what is meant by blind faith?
We now have the spectre of Tony Blair, that great Catholic convert and promoter of "faith" running for the presidency of the European Union. A man who popularised the idea of "spin" in the pocket of an organisation that only thrives because of blind faith...
What could possibly go wrong?
Monday, October 05, 2009
Birthday weekend
It was my birthday at the weekend (yes I am over 21!), we all had a really nice time thanks to my wife's organisational prowess. We kicked proceedings off with an organised wine tasting/meal etc. on Friday night at my kid's school (they have one every year to squeeze a little more money out of us); they are usually fairly dry but this one ended up being quite a raucous affair as the wines flowed freely.
Then, breakfast in bed on Saturday (slight headache), followed by lunch "en-famille". In an on-going effort to encourage my children to enjoy a wide range of foods we went for a slap up Chinese banquet at lunchtime, it was lovely watching them try different things for the first time. My Daughters face was a picture when she took her first mouthful of seaweed, a "Dad, quick, get these hedge clippings out of my mouth" kind of look... In the evening a few friends came over for some drinks and nibbles, lots of local gossip, putting the world to rights and blatant wine snobbery. Late up on Sunday (slight headache) followed by a lazy day of watching old films and playing games together. Then in the evening I went to see Tim Minchin at the Hexagon Theatre in Reading; he was excellent a really funny and talented guy. Tim's material is famously atheistic and secular, he also has a pop at pseudo-science, my kind of comedian. He specialises in pointing out the silliness of things in an observational humour kind of way but occasionally catches you off guard with something quite profound and insightful; most of his stuff is set to music either as poems or songs, he can certainly bash out a good tune on the piano too.
A sampling of my presents this year would include:
Should keep me amused for a while :)
Then, breakfast in bed on Saturday (slight headache), followed by lunch "en-famille". In an on-going effort to encourage my children to enjoy a wide range of foods we went for a slap up Chinese banquet at lunchtime, it was lovely watching them try different things for the first time. My Daughters face was a picture when she took her first mouthful of seaweed, a "Dad, quick, get these hedge clippings out of my mouth" kind of look... In the evening a few friends came over for some drinks and nibbles, lots of local gossip, putting the world to rights and blatant wine snobbery. Late up on Sunday (slight headache) followed by a lazy day of watching old films and playing games together. Then in the evening I went to see Tim Minchin at the Hexagon Theatre in Reading; he was excellent a really funny and talented guy. Tim's material is famously atheistic and secular, he also has a pop at pseudo-science, my kind of comedian. He specialises in pointing out the silliness of things in an observational humour kind of way but occasionally catches you off guard with something quite profound and insightful; most of his stuff is set to music either as poems or songs, he can certainly bash out a good tune on the piano too.A sampling of my presents this year would include:
-150th Anniversary edition of "Origin of species" (lovely binding)
-Guitar Hero - Beatles Edition-New Richard Dawkins book (The greatest show on Earth)
-Some rather nice bottles of vino to tryShould keep me amused for a while :)
Latest un-PC video from PC.
Here is the latest instalment from Pat Condell; as direct and unapologetic as ever.
Thursday, October 01, 2009
Don't forget to gasp..
Girls, should you ever wish to fake virginity you will be relieved to know that a kit is now available for $15 from Syria! Apparently this is a big deal in the Middle East since not being a virgin on your wedding night carries a huge stigma and possibly even physical jeopardy. The device releases a liquid which imitates blood presumably at the "appropriate moment" although I'm not clear how the mechanism knows when that is? perhaps it's a case of perfecting those pelvic floor routines.. you knew they'd come in handy one day :)
As you can probably guess the Islamic Mafia aren't at all happy about this, predictably leading figures are advocating the death penalty for anyone caught importing these devices, apparently it undermines the moral fabric of society bla, bla, bla, Sharia law, bla bla.. you get the picture. Anyway for those enlightened women who are smart enough to figure out Ebay and need such a device, don't forget a little gasp and a smile at the right moment will go a long way to ensuring none will be the wiser.
Surreal corner...
Police were called to a hypothetical dinner party last night, after Charles Darwin and Nelson Mandela resumed hostilities as tensions continue to run high between the two top guests on the ideal dinner party guest circuit. ‘It was the usual story,’ said Oscar Wilde. ‘Everyone was exchanging profound, witty and entertaining insights around the dinner table in a three-bed Barratt Home in Caversham, when it became obvious that Charlie had sunk one Merlot too many. He starts winding Nelson right up for voting for Richard Dunwoody on Strictly last week, next thing the racial slurs and insinuations about their mothers’ sexual promiscuity are flying around.
‘Elvis tried to hold Nelson back, but he smacks Darwin right on the slaphead. Shakespeare and Dawn French tried to diffuse the situation with a game of Spin the Bottle, but it was too late. Let’s hope another night in the cells straightens them out before tomorrow’s fondue in Dundee and Nelson spares us all the usual histrionics when he’s released on bail.’
Courtesy of News Biscuit
‘Elvis tried to hold Nelson back, but he smacks Darwin right on the slaphead. Shakespeare and Dawn French tried to diffuse the situation with a game of Spin the Bottle, but it was too late. Let’s hope another night in the cells straightens them out before tomorrow’s fondue in Dundee and Nelson spares us all the usual histrionics when he’s released on bail.’
Courtesy of News Biscuit
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