Sunday, June 03, 2012

God save the Queen and pass the ammo

In the ongoing battle to keep the right leaning middle classes in a permanent state of terror the Daily Mail came up with a cracking set of front page stories on Friday. First you've got Diana the ex-princess of Wales, of course mentioning Diana everyday in the Daily Mail somewhere has become a regular act of religious devotion second only in predictability to politicians praising the troops or Rowan Williams praising the Queen, however in an escalation of toadyism the fine journalists at the Mail have combined the standard Diana story with a super Kate story, would they have been buddies? I can hardly contain my excitement in contemplating this challenging philosophical conundrum. Alongside the philosophy section we also have a quick dig at social media, someone is being called names on Twitter, shame on those bullies, anyway we couldn't maintain our paranoia levels without a splash of future shock. Then to cap it all we have the startling revelation that people shouldn't drink more than three glasses of wine a week, yes you read that correctly THREE GLASSES A WEEK!

There are many things that we shouldn't do more than three times a week, driving 4X4's, eating big Mac's, going outside and let's not forget elevated stress levels would suggest reading the Daily Mail should fall into that category too. I'm sure abstaining from many of these things would prolong our lives, hopefully so that we could contemplate important ontological questions, like who would Diana have voted for on the Voice. However this headline misses the main motivation for drinking any kind of alcohol more than three times a week, i.e. to make conversations with all those Daily Mail devotees slightly less boring!

Health Warning: Please drink in moderation and watch out for Daily Mail stories, they many contain nuts.

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