Monday, August 15, 2011

God found

Its official, God has been found, he lives in Kenya and dresses like Mr Blobby...


This man is called Jehovah Wanyonyi, and yes, according to him that's the *actual* Jehovah, the one who created the universe, stars, light, planets, people and all of that. JW started his little sect back in the late 50s and you have to hand it to him has been totally consistent since, not changing his story one bit, he is God, he cures all illness and injury, he offers redemption and has 25 wives and 100 children (no doubt that trick with the loaves and the fishes comes in really handy!) The only blot on this otherwise sterling record is the fact that JW had to move rather hastily a few years back after people started noticing that his end of the world prophecies didn't happen and that followers still continued to die of stuff that everyone else did, in fact more perished needlessly because he prevented them going to hospital. JW was run out of town but incredibly pitched up somewhere else 100km away and resumed normal Deistic services to the present day.

There is one delicious twist of irony to this otherwise sad and exploitative story, a local Pastor, Joseph Tanui was asked what he thinks of Wanyonyi, he said,

“He is a liar, lazy and a conman who has taken advantage of the ignorance of our people to exploit them. He knows that he is not God and will never be one, but the poor have no choice other than to turn to whoever promises them miracles and heaven,”

You have to marvel at the self inoculative power of religion.

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