Friday, June 09, 2023

Offensive

 

With all of this cultural division going on at the moment and everyone getting offended at the slightest hint of disagreement, I thought it would be useful to outline the officially sanctioned responses (which can be combined) for English people when confronted with a frothing troll on Twitter who has just viciously maligned you and your entire genetic line going back to amoeba.

“Bit harsh”
“There’s no need for that”
“Mate…”
“Steady on”
“Have you quite finished?”
“That’s uncalled for”
“Bit rude”
“I’ll put the kettle on”
“Anything else?”
“Right-o”
“Thanks for your honesty”
“Blimey”
“Charming”
“I see” 
“I’m sorry you feel that way”
“Sorry”

Please ensure that you hold your end up and maintain a stiff upper lip at all times when dealing with obnoxious social media blighters.

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