Memorable Tim Minchin lines

As I mentioned in my birthday post I went to see Tim Minchin on Sunday; several of the people in my office also  went to see him and we were just recalling some of his one-liners, here are my favourites,

• We're just Monkeys... in shoes
• So God takes the afternoon off from his normal day job of systematically killing African children to help American basketball players.
• I'd rather watch boobs all day than own a pub
• Do you know what they call alternative medicine that has been proven to work? .... medicine.
• If you really loved me... you'd let me video you while you wee
• If you open your mind too much, your brain will fall out
• Your love is one in a million, if I didn't have you.... I'd have someone else..
• Try as I might, a small crack appears in my diplomacy dyke..
• Communist kids really don't make much noise, and they're so good at sharing their toys!

You have to imagine these lines in songs or poems along with piano backing, if you can't then check him out on youtube; you'll be tickled.