Western Man

Lot of debate going on at the moment about Men, more specifically the state of their minds (generally) as it pertains to our modern, permanently wired, reality TV world. Suicide rates among men has risen alarmingly in recent years and in our own country (UK) males are roughly 3 times more likely to commit suicide than females, suffice to say, there appears to be a problem with our men. 

The media often present this issue as a choice between two extremes (see photo above) either you're a frothing misogynist or a limp gender-neutral that's in-touch with his inner Woman, men are invited to take their pick, toxic masculinity or gender-bender. Clearly this is a false choice, there are as many "types" of men as there are men and as with most things the extremes of the bell-curve are to be avoided. 

It does seem like there's something going on, youngsters, and especially young men, do seem to be struggling more than they have in the past, there is lot's of data to back this view up although I suspect many people have plenty of personal experience too. Even in the relatively small group of peers that my son and daughter know there have been an alarming number of "issues", particularly within the boys group, and the problems have mostly stemmed from a shortage of confidence and lack of positive self-image leading to depression and withdrawal, and in a couple of examples suicide attempts at age 16!

Social media doesn't help of course and young people (and some old ones!) are completely hooked on the stuff, the fish-bowl/echo chamber nature of some of the platforms can be problematic and magnifies problems that otherwise may simply pass with maturity. There does seem to be a need for kids to present a totally false picture of their lives to the outside world. I guess it's natural, the teenage years are mainly about finding out who you are and attracting potential mates, bragging and showing off (particularly on the male side) is all part of that, but the gap between reality and perception (as projected by TV & social media) seems to be magnified by the various platforms to the point where chasing the perception becomes stressful and leads to depression, as inevitably it's hardly ever fully achieved.

Is there a solution? Well, I don't think there's an overnight fix, but I do think that allowing boys to be boys (cliched as that sounds) helps, encouraging face to face interaction between peers (mates) and encouraging boys to take responsibility for things as early and often as possible, competence and showing it off is the anecdote to bedroom-bound social media obsession, in other words, the good old fashioned "hobby" needs a come-back!